Posted by: laughing4heir | October 20, 2011

Brighter Horizons

I’ve reached 31 weeks in my pregnancy. 31 weeks. And I’m still at home, chasing a toddler and going about my life. At this point in my last pregnancy, I had been in the hospital for about a month. I had another month to go, and though I didn’t know it at the time, I would be a mother in 3 short weeks.

Also, at roughly this time in my last pregnancy, I was supposed to have had a baby shower, to be held in the hospital cafeteria, since, well … I was not allowed to leave the grounds. But that was canceled due to yet another bleeding incident within 36 hours of the proposed shower. It was a major bummer for me. I had really been looking forward to it, not only because all expectant mothers do, and I was looking forward to the rite of passage, but because it would’ve afforded me a rare outing from the confines of my room.

This time around, things have been different. We now belong to a church (sidenote: it feels great getting back into a faith and worship community) and they’re planning a shower for me at the church. Also, my sister in law reached out asking if she could also throw me a shower to make up for the one I didn’t get to have last time. I said that would be nice and we settled on a date for November. I sent her my updated registry – mostly with supply refills and a few gap-filler items – and some suggestions for third party locations where we might be able to do this.  I noticed some people had started buying off the registry, so I assumed that the invitations had been sent, but mostly I forgot about it.  My focus instead went toward daily grind stuff and getting ready for Halloween, which I still need to do!

In the midst of being 31 weeks pregnant and all the toddler chasing, we’re hosting one of my husband’s young cousins for the fall.  She’s interning at a company downtown and living (or maybe camping?) out of or basement guestroom for the semester.  We mostly see her in the mornings as she begins her commute in.  When she’s not interning, she’s working a second job or going out with newly-made friends.  We’re rather mystified by all this as it’s been so long since we were college students, we’ve forgotten what it’s like to have boundless energy.

Anyway, last Saturday, she asked if I could pick her up downtown.  I like getting out of the house and I love her, so I agreed.  She got in the car and after we drove about two blocks, I told her as part of her cab fare, she’d have to go to the grocery store with me.  “Actually – ” she interjected.  I cringed.  “Could you drop me off at this other restaurant? I promised some friends I’d meet them for lunch.”  “LUNCH?!  It’s 4PM!  Who has lunch at 4PM? You’re hanging out with vampires, aren’t you?  Your friends are all vampires!” But I agreed.  Then she told me she’d been talking about me to her friends and they were very eager to meet me and could I just pop in for a few minutes to say hi? Ugh. For real? Now I have to be “interesting” to a bunch of Generation Y/Millienial vampire kids? I told her I would, provided we could find nearby parking.  I’m clearly too nice for my own good.

We walked into a charming little French restaurant and a hostess greeted us asking if we were here for the baby shower.  “Great!” I thought to myself. “Now her friends aren’t even here and they forgot to tell her where they were, because they chose a place that’s been closed off for the afternoon and now we have to get back into the car … and what’s my sister in law doing over there?  And my aunt?  And my mom?  MOM?! She’s supposed to be in Texas!”  All that reasoning took a nano-second, of course.  In the next second, the room shouted, “SURPRISE!!”  And I was surprised.  Truly.  I began to cry.  I made my way around the room and hugged all my friends and family who were there.  I suddenly wished I had taken a shower that morning; and that I was a naturally snappier dresser rather than one who wears just jeans and t-shirts.  Oh, well!

It was a lovely gathering. We ate crepes and I drank sparkling cider while the rest of the ladies got to have champagne (sigh), but I really didn’t care much about that. My friends and family went around the room and expressed how much they love and appreciate me and there were a couple of toasts, as well.  I cried more and was flattered beyond belief.  Not only had my mom come into town for this, but my best friend, as well, who, it turns out, was in on this with my husband, sister in law and other local bestie. I have been on a high for the last 4 or 5 days since.

But here’s the amazing thing:  this simple shower, a mere late afternoon lunch with the ladies, has given me a confidence about this pregnancy that I’ve been lacking all along.  Something about getting to have a shower with people I’m closest to and who love me dearly, has lifted the pale specter of doubt that hovered over me regarding this pregnancy.  For the first time ever in my reproductive history, I feel confident that I will make it to my delivery date.  And that my baby will be healthy.  And that I needn’t worry.  In other words, I feel like a regular, blissful expectant mother.  This must be what other pregnant women feel like.  When things go right and everything’s healthy and normal and boring.  Those 75% of women. This must be what they feel:  like it’s just part of life and that’s that.  They don’t know how lucky they are.  But I do.  Of course, I don’t know that everything will go smoothly from here out, but I’m not worried about or haunted by it.  I feel liberated.  At least for the last 5 days, I’ve felt liberated.  I feel normal.



  1. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I had no idea you were pregnant again. Where have I been? Wherever it was, now I am there with goosebumps and on the verge of tears. What a wonderful, wonderful thing for you! Hallelujia!

    • Thanks, Kay!

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